A Birthday Soup for Umma: Celebrating Traditions and Love
Updated: 2 days ago
A Culinary Journey Through Memories
My parents dedicated their lives to running a store. This was the backdrop of my childhood. They woke up before dawn and returned home long after sunset. Yet, without fail, umma (my mom) would prepare a feast for our birthdays. The spread usually included kalbi (beef short ribs), an array of our favorite banchan (side dishes), and, of course, a bowl of miyukgook 미역국 (seaweed soup).
As we grew older, we insisted on having a birthday cake, just like our "American" friends. We were assimilating. A cake with icing and candles became our way of celebrating. But in doing so, we seemed to forget that this day also honors our mothers—women who endured so much to bring us into this world. So, what’s the choice? Seaweed soup or birthday cakes?
The Call of Tradition
Once I left home for college, umma would always call on my birthdays. “Did someone make 미역국 for you?” she would ask. I’d roll my eyes and respond, “Yeah, I had some…” Was she serious? For a while, I forgot my traditions. I was too busy learning and assimilating. I dated white boys and cooked French food—not that there’s anything wrong with that!
Umma, a petite woman, gave life to three ginormous babies. She might have had undiagnosed gestational diabetes, yet she raised three very healthy humans. She often wonders how she managed to bear such large babies. Her postpartum care consisted of bed rest. Can you imagine? What a concept! This was in the 60s in Seoul, Korea. She lived with her extended family, who all pitched in to ensure she stayed in bed, warm, and bonding with her babies.
The Nourishing Tradition of Seaweed Soup
During the first three weeks after giving birth, known as saam-chil-il (three seven days), she stayed at home, eating 미역국 with every meal. They believed that seaweed restores the blood lost, helps heal the uterus, and increases the quantity and quality of breast milk. Is this medically proven? I’m not sure, but we do know that seaweed is rich in calcium, fiber, and iron. This is the origin of the birthday soup—nourishing the new mom so she can nourish her newborn baby. With that bowl of soup, we celebrate the woman who gave us life.
Umma's version of the soup was simple yet profound. She would dice some beef—usually a tough cut like chuck—and sauté it in a large pot. Then she’d add rehydrated chopped seaweed, letting it sauté in sesame oil. After that, in went water, lots of garlic, salt, and black pepper. She’d simmer the soup for hours, leaving it on the stove until it was all eaten. Day after day, she’d heat it up for dinner. Each subsequent dinner, the pot got smaller. As long as you brought it back to a boil, it was all good. I don’t remember any of us getting sick from my mom’s soups. Or maybe it was all the kimchi we ate, full of probiotics, that made our tummies strong.
Rediscovering Family Traditions
It took some years, but I eventually found my way back to my family traditions. I truly appreciate them now. That simple soup that umma cooked for me? Well, I just can’t seem to replicate its taste. Maybe it’s the jar of Accent, aka MSG, she had handy next to her stove. After experimenting with different versions, my favorite is to cook it with oxtail. Oxtail comes in 6 to 8 pieces cut between each joint. You can taste and feel the collagen in the broth. With every spoonful, I can feel my bones and joints being nourished!
I also cherish the 미역국 I had in a bathhouse in Jeju, Korea. The experience was heavenly! The soak in heat, the plunge in cold, the exfoliation of my whole body—it was the best shower of my life. Then came the luxurious jjimjilbang, the dry area and final stop of the bathhouse experience. Here, I donned the provided pajamas and laid down. This is where you go for Savasana! AWWW! Some rooms have television sets, while others have cafes. In one of these rooms on Jeju Island, hearing the ocean outside, I savored a sea urchin 미역국. It was pure bliss, tasting of the ocean in all the best ways.
The Challenge of Change
I don’t see umma as much as I’d like to these days. It’s hard to witness her gradual decline. She’s physically healthy and eats well, but it feels like she’s slipping away from me. I catch her looking confused, losing herself, not knowing where she is or who she is. She recognizes me as a familiar face, but she doesn’t truly know who I am. It’s heartbreaking to see her regress to a baby-like state. At times, it’s super cute to witness her wonder, surprise, and excitement.
When my mom’s birthday rolls around, I make sure to prepare a big batch of 미역국 and have a feast in her honor! “Happy birthday, umma!”
And PS... don’t forget to call your mom on your birthday!
Oxtail 미역국 Recipe
Simmer oxtail with onions and garlic until the meat gets tender, about 2 hours.
Strain everything and chill the broth overnight so the fat separates. Remove the fat and discard.
Pick the meat off the bones and reserve it.
Heat a pot and drizzle in some sesame oil. Add rehydrated, chopped seaweed, garlic, salt, and pepper. Stir and toast for a minute.
Add the defatted broth and simmer on very low heat for at least 30 minutes.
Add the beef just before serving the soup.
Adjust seasoning and enjoy with beautiful thoughts of your umma!
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